Niisan, My Dear
by Pinnacle of Madness
Summary: A series of drabbles about the relationship between Sasuke and Itachi. They cry, they fight, they laugh, they lie, they live, they die. Uchihacest. Warnings: slight OOC, incest, shônen ai, yaoi, mild cursing, unexplicit lime.
1. Sasuke

To him he'd willingly offer undying loyalty, support in all endeavors. To him he'd give his mind, body, and soul and expect nothing in return. For him he'd give his life in an instant. For him he'd already given his sanity.

It was he who murdered their clan, slaughtered the basis of their existence. It was he who told him to hate. It was he who told him to kill his best friend. It was he who had set him free, given him a reason to live. It was to his aniki he offered his unconditional, unrequited love...

...in vain.


	2. Itachi

For him he'd travel to the ends of the earth, braving the highest mountains and the deepest ocean floors, at world's end. For him he'd eradicate the entire Akatsuki, even if it meant he'd die in the process. For he and himself he'd already killed their entire clan, to set them free.

And now they were gone and he was free and they were both free and they could be happy however they wished. For he and himself he had banished himself and now there was nobody to say he couldn't love his otouto... if only he could tell him.


	3. Niisan's Death

He'd betrayed his home, family, friends, and classmates for his sake. He'd pushed away those who cared and run time and time again from things from which he should not have run. For him he'd survived and fought and run and what for? It didn't matter anymore.

So now here he was, preforming his last act of betrayal. He wasn't quite sure where he would go from here, nor did he really care. Just as he had cornered Orochimaru and raised chidori, the snake dared ask him about his aniki. Sasuke hesitated only a moment. "My lover...

"...is dead."


	4. Sasuke's Birthday, Part I

Itachi smirked as he watched Sasuke stomp around the house from the shadows, lingering out of sight. He'd never admit it to anyone, but he loved teasing his otouto. It wasn't that he particularly liked Sasuke annoyed, he just loved that adorable little scowl on his face, the way he furrowed his eyebrows and stuck out his lower lip...

Deciding he'd let Sasuke suffer enough, Itachi stepped into his otouto's path. Sasuke scowled. "Where were you, niisan? It's my birthday."

"Forgive me, Sasuke," Itachi said, poking Sasuke's forehead and giving him a small kiss. "Now close your eyes, otouto..."


	5. Aniki Knows

Sasuke had been wondering about something for a while. Normally he would have just filed his curiosity away in a little spot in the back of his head to gather dust. This time, however, it was constantly burning itself to the forefront of his mind, much like a campfire that refused to go out. Kaasan wasn't very helpful, so he asked his aniki. Itachi was smart, he'd know! "Niisan?"

"Yes?"

"Does Tousan love me?"

Itachi sighed regretfully at the question, knowing he couldn't lie to his otouto. Gently, he pressed his lips to Sasuke's forehead.

"No, otouto, no he doesn't."


	6. Sasuke's Smile

It was innocent and small, yet at the same time it could light up a room. Even on the darkest of days after the most difficult and stressing of missions I knew I would come home and see him smile and all my troubles would instantly vanish.

It became sad and fleeting and he rarely used it in my presence. I would give the world to see it truly again, innocent and small, yet somehow miles wide. I didn't get even this when I spoke those words that burned me from inside every time, I love you, otouto...

Sasuke's smile.


	7. Itachi's Kisses

They were always small and bittersweet and rarely lasted longer than a few seconds. They were precious and I always cherished them. Even if his smiles were empty, his kisses let me know his words were true.

Words are small and insignificant, words can hurt and lie. I never trusted his words, only his kisses. They were always fleeting because he didn't like showing affection, even rarely during sex. I can easily count on my fingers the number of times I smiled outside of them. However, I only truly smile then, when he shows me he loves me...

Itachi's kisses.


	8. Sleep, Niisan

Sasuke looked up from his pillow, though not truly seeing anything. It was much too dark for that.

There was Itachi, sitting like he did almost every night. Sometimes he just wished they could both just get some goddamn sleep, but Itachi's insomnia was enough to ruin any possible plans of that, even outside of shinobi activity. Sasuke spoke.

"Come to bed, Itachi," _Don't make me sleep alone. Anything is better than to be alone._

It was like this almost every night. Sasuke slept about five hours, leaving Itachi alone to his thoughts.

Sasuke asked the same thing each night...


	9. Insomnia

in·som·ni·a, _n._ Chronic inability to fall asleep or remain asleep for an adequate length of time.

Itachi stayed awake almost every night. The twenty-four-year-old never could sleep and so was left with his thoughts.

Itachi spent tonight trying to figure out when his insomnia had begun, because he knew he used to get yelled at for sleeping longer than eight hours. Wait, hadn't it begun ten years ago when he...

Itachi sighed. Of course it had. Typical.

"Come to bed, Itachi."

Sasuke asked the same thing each night...

Itachi thought he rather liked the idea of joining him tonight.


	10. If This is Love

Sasuke moaned as his brother nipped at his neck, soothing the marks he left with his tongue as he progressed. He still wasn't exactly sure if this was love or just sex, but right now he couldn't quite care.

Itachi smirked as he broke skin, licking along the trail of blood that ran down Sasuke's chest, moving over it consistently lower. Gentle wasn't exactly a word in his vocabulary, but Sasuke liked it, and that was all that mattered.

They screamed in unison as completion overtook them. If this was love, Sasuke was willing to take a crack at it.


	11. For Aniki, Forgive Me

Sasuke gasped for breath as one of the few people who ever truly understood him lay coughing up blood at his feet. However it had happened, his best friend lay at his feet. Sasuke cared for Naruto, truly he did. He really didn't want him dead at all. However...

Sasuke lost his footing from the slick rain on the smooth stone. He broke his fall with his hands and found himself gazing directly at Naruto, so peaceful, eyes closed but still not quite unconscious.

"Forgive me, Naruto," he cried softly. "I'd do anything for my aniki...

"...even kill you."


	12. Sasuke's Birthday, Part II

Sasuke complied and gasped as he felt Itachi's mouth on him. Overpowering, unreleasing lust had Sasuke reaching to grab something, anything to squeeze. Though tempted to grab Itachi's hair, Sasuke refrained and instead found himself grabbing onto the necklace Itachi had given him exactly a decade ago, on his seventh birthday. "You're the- ah, the best, a-aniki," Sasuke gasped, unconsciously repeating the same words he had uttered all those years ago, though obviously without the physical pleasure breaking his speech.

Sasuke gasped Itachi's name as he came. Itachi stood up, kissed him, and muttered in his ear.

"Happy birthday, Sasuke."


	13. Chocolate, Part I

Itachi grinned when he heard his parents were leaving for the week. His parents were absolute stuck-ups... or at least his dad was. Just more time to spend with his otouto in his mind.

"What are we going to do, aniki?" Sasuke asked, his smile lighting up the room.

Itachi grinned. "I dunno, Sasuke, but Kaasan left us some chocolate, and I know how much you love chocolate..."

"More than anything!" shouted Sasuke. "Oh, except you, aniki. I love you more."

Itachi chose not to reply, instead flicking Sasuke's forehead and planting a kiss in the same spot.


	14. Regrets for the Weary

Itachi shuddered on his way to meet with the leader. He couldn't quite believe it was at this point, but what was done was done and it could not be undone. It was finished and over with and...

...and Itachi knew he was going to die. He knew how the leader's mind worked. It was either Sasuke or himself. And he loved Sasuke. Who do you think he was going to choose? Who else really was there to choose?

"Are you prepared, Uchiha Itachi-san?"

"My only regret is that I didn't have a chance to say good-bye to my otouto."


	15. Home, Sweet, Home

Sasuke paused only a moment in his slow walk to cough up blood before continuing on. He had been walking for two and a half weeks with little rest and he was almost home. He had eaten nothing in four days, yet he felt no hunger.

As he walked through the Konohagakure gateway, nobody stopped him. Nobody demanded anything. They all knew his purpose.

Nobody in the village gave him any notice except for the occasional, "Welcome, Sasuke-kun." He made it to the Hokage's tower easily.

Tsunade asked, "What about Itachi?"

Sasuke's only response was a dry, emotionless laugh.


	16. Chocolate, Part II

"You eat any more of that and you''ll be sick," Itachi warned Sasuke. Sasuke stopped shoving cake in his mouth long enough to give Itachi a sheepish chocolate grin. Itachi shook his head at his otouto as he devoured enough pastry for three adults. This was by no means going to make Sasuke sick. He had seen his Sasuke devour eight bowls of miso soup and still have enough room for dessert, this was nothing. However, Itachi didn't want to take too much of a risk, so he stopped Sasuke soon after. Exactly how much cake had Kaasan left them, anyway?


	17. Chocolate, Part III

Sasuke was obviously going to whine. Itachi could feel it without having to look at his expression. Nothing big, just one of those characteristics that relatives are abnormally good at picking up.

However, he knew that Sasuke would make sure to swallow all the food in his mouth first. If there was one childish thing Sasuke found revolting, it was whining with food in your mouth. He still had a few seconds to think of a plan to stop the whining.

Tossing caution aside, Itachi did the only thing he could think of and captured Sasuke's lips in his own.


	18. Chocolate, Part IV

When he felt his aniki's lips on his own, Sasuke was shocked. Wasn't this something only boys and girls did together? Then when Itachi's tongue entered his mouth, Sasuke's train of thought hit a cow and all was lost but the feel of niisan's tongue gently tracing his mouth. When Itachi pulled away, the first thing his aniki said was, "You taste lovely... like chocolate."

---

"Sasuke-kun!"

Sasuke paused, turning to see Sakura waving.

"Ne, Sasuke-kun, I just got some lovely chocolate. Would you like some?"

Sasuke immediately turned back around and walked away. "I despise sweets. Especially chocolate."


	19. I Lie Because I Love You

He's too optimistic. He always thinks of the best case scenario. This and that is going to happen, then it will all be perfect. It annoys me. It makes me frustrated. He doesn't stop to consider.

He can't see reason. He's far too stubborn. He doesn't want to give up. Won't let go. Won't give up. Why won't he give up?

I hate you! I don't want you!

But I'm lying. I don't hate him. I only dislike what he makes me feel. I don't know this feeling and it scares me so I lie. I love him.

Does he know?


	20. No, You Lie Because I Love You

You're in denial, aniki. You think I don't know that what you say is all lies. You tell me that you hate me, that you don't love me, that I should do this and that so that when the right time comes I can kill you, only you could have killed me long ago and you would have if you didn't love me.

Words can and do lie. I don't trust words, so I listen only to actions, and they say you love me.

No, you lie because _I_ love _you_.

Yes, I do know.

You can't hide from me, aniki.


	21. This is How I Disappear

It doesn't take much, really.

A jutsu or two and then everyone forgets me.

Then I run.

No one will remember me after today.

So I will keep going, keep living on. I will do what I must and avoid what I can and watch as the world around me keeps moving on. For all the ghosts that aren't going to catch me, and all the smiles that shall haunt me. For myself and everyone I will cease to exist. I'm too much of a coward to kill myself, but it won't matter after today.

This is how I disappear.


	22. Slaughter, Suicide, Savior, but Wrong P1

Sasuke wasn't sure how long he sat in front of the chalk tracing of his parents' final moments. Minutes, hours maybe, but time didn't matter in mourning...or in death.

Well, why the fuck shouldn't he kill himself?! His aniki, his idol, had _slaughtered_ their entire family! Why? What was the purpose? To _test his limits_. Why did he leave Sasuke alive? He didn't even give a proper reason, just hopped off like it was normal for one to kill one's entire clan. He had just bounced away, leaving his otouto lying there. The poor boy felt better off dead...


	23. Slaughter, Suicide, Savior, but Wrong P2

So he didn't die.

So he didn't kill himself.

He wasn't actually sure why. His family was dead, his aniki had betrayed him, he was empty. So what was stopping him?

The newly titled 'avenger' stood up and walked serenely through the puddles and doorways of the Uchiha compound. He walked and walked and stood before the only portrait that Itachi hadn't destroyed during the massacre. It was a simple portrait, Sasuke on Itachi's back, both of them smiling and not caring. Written across it in blood was the character 'ai.'

The thunderous sky was pierced with Sasuke's laughter.


	24. I Dreamt a Dream Tonight

Itachi collapsed atop Sasuke as both climaxed and pleasure overtook them. They were utterly filthy, laying on a dusty bed that hadn't seen daylight in perhaps months, covered in sweat and semen from lovemaking and whatnot, but neither cared.

"'Deny thy father and refuse thy name,'" Sasuke suddenly whispered, "'Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, And I'll no longer be a Capulet.'"

Itachi smirked and settled down beside Sasuke to enjoy the afterglow.

_For never was a story of more woe  
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo._

And the dream ended and Sasuke awoke.


	25. If I Be Lost

The great Uchiha Sasuke has been recently admitted to the Long-Term Ward at Konoha General Hospital. Funny, that. The great, all-mighty, powerful Uchiha clan reduced to this, wiped out but two by their so-called 'prodigy child' who was killed but over a week ago, dying for the last Uchiha, now deemed clinically insane.

And they shove pills down your throat and act like they care but nobody cares if you're losing yourself, _am I losing myself?!_

I think I am lost but I know not what to think he's all I can think and so I be lost to him.


	26. Freedom is Relative

Freedom was a strange feeling to have. At first he'd thought it was emptiness, and it was, but a different kind. This was the kind that only made you sad because you hadn't experienced it before now, and Sasuke was sad at what had given him this.

So he was free, now, huh? It was rather strange feeling. He could run through the woods, waiting for his aniki to come back for him, and his mother wouldn't call him back with a smile on her face. Funnily enough, she's the only one he truly missed.

He rather liked this feeling.


	27. Oh, How the Black Runs Cold

She turned the knob, sighing when the faucet refused to give her hot water. You get what you pay for, but it wasn't her fault. Her master... had too much influence on her.

The tears fell to mix with the icy spray, doing nothing to dilute it as the water ran black. Dirty, murky, suffocating black.

Of course, after all this, she was still a ninja. A kunoichi of the Leaf, one of the best. No one could disguise their presence from her.

She smirked darkly at the cracked mirror, black dripping from her chin.

"I know you're there, Sasuke-kun."


	28. A Warning Unheeded, Part I

Sasuke sighed as he dumped the pile of lurid pink, red, and lace in the garbage without even looking at it, save to pick out the chocolate. Even at seven years old, girls were obsessed.

Sasuke paused as another valentine suddenly appeared on his desk. There was no name on it but his own. He opened it and smiled.

When he arrived home later on, he ran into Itachi.

"Look what someone at school gave me!" he cried, hugging Itachi before running off. Itachi stared after him in shock for a moment before sighing sadly. Really, his foolish little brother.


	29. The Warning

_My dearest one  
I love you so  
Not for your looks  
Or boyish charm  
Nor for your strengths  
Or your faults  
Not for you red,  
Black eyes of death  
Soon to come  
But for you  
Because there is no world  
Without you._

_I give you not chocolate  
Or candy or sweets  
I give you not money  
Or lace and pink  
I give you instead  
My words of love  
My words of truth  
My words, because  
I would die for you  
I would kill for you  
Nay, I _will_ kill for you  
That is how much I love you_

_Forever, my Sasuke_


	30. A Warning Unheeded, Part II

Sasuke sighed as he dumped the pile of lurid pink and lace in his garbage without even looking at it, not even stopping to pick out the candy. Seven years and they hadn't stopped. None possessed the ability to take a hint. Besides, he'd stopped feeling guilty long ago.

Sasuke paused as a card dropped from nowhere with his name on it. He looked around for a moment before picking it up and opening it when he had deemed it harmless. There were only five lines.

_Foolish otouto  
You listened not  
I said I would  
Kill for you_

_Aniki, forever yours_


	31. On This Sleepy Afternoon

The sun shone on the Konoha market on a sleepy afternoon. Passers-by meandered slowly as a cool breeze crept through the streets and vendors yawned widely, not really putting effort into today's advertising. Unseen by those who wished to see, Sasuke sat cross-legged on the cloth roof of a vendor, watching time pass by. He sighed as a blond disturbed the peace and waved tiredly at the redhead accompanying him. Gaara wouldn't say anything.

As Sasuke lounged back peacefully and opened his book depicting the legend of Kirin, the chilled wind ruffled his clothes.

It was going to rain tonight.


End file.
